# Makeup the Concealer

'Episode 4' I am not pretty unless I wear makeup

At the age of 9 barely a few months to months from my 10th birthday I was sent off to boarding school to start Jss1 (Junior Secondary School 1) mainly because I was way taller than my age percentile coupled with the fact that everyone in grade 3 and 4 was writing the secondary school entrance examination in preparation for the future. I passed three out of the five entrance examinations which I wrote and my secondary school was the most suitable for my parents.

Parents would always have our best interest at heart and in my case boarding school was a better option for my parents as they agreed that boarding school was going to prepare me for life but then I had a challenge, at the age of nine I was just growing out of my shell for the first time in my life as a timid child and I still wanted to play more, learn to swim, read more, learn to play the violin even better and be affirmed more at that young age. All of these came to an end immediately after I got into boarding school. Sadly I was not confident enough to live the life of a border.

At the beginning of my teenage years, I did not have protruding boobs and I was said to be flat chested (not like it was false anyway), I was also really tall and skinny, then I started to break out like crazy due to puberty. At the age of 11, I had started seeing my monthly period yet I couldn’t understand all the biology which was going on in my body. My insecurity grew even stronger on this faithful night prep when all the male students in my set ranked all the girls in the class from the most beautiful to the ugliest, and guess who came first from the rare, I was the least ranked. If only I knew being ugly was not an infectious disease neither was it a plague nor an everlasting curse maybe I would not have been as insecure as I was.

Did I mention that it was often said that I escaped albinism because of my complexion. Living in a country with a really hot climate led to me having awful sunburns with freckles all over my face coupled with the fact that I never applied any form of sun protection, right now I still battle with really bad sunburns and the only difference now is the fact that I cannot be bothered.

I am at a phase where I almost cannot love myself any less, I have come to embrace all my flaws with my full chest. Loving myself is still a gradual journey and I am learning to love my freckles and my auburn hair more. I constantly remind myself how beautiful and unique God made me.

In my 100 level, I applied makeup foundation every single day because I thought people would be disgusted at my face, how shallow could I have been? In short, the foundation I used had an orange undertone but I could not care less because of how insecure I was. Equally, I thought indulging in romantic relationships with guys would give me the confidence I needed but after a couple of failed relationships, I realized no relationship would boost up my confidence.

But how did I get to this point? These tips helped me overcome my insecurities

1. I attended a makeup school where I learned how to apply makeup better and seeing myself with full face beat for the first time made me realize how beautiful I could be. The process of learning makeup taught me that no amount of makeup would be better than my bare face. Even if I would apply makeup daily I knew I had to still wipe it off and i’ll still be left with my natural face. This whole process taught me the importance of skincare and for the first time, I knew my skin related insecurities had solutions. There’s no problem without a solution.
2. I found my identity in Christ and I also realized God was intentional about all my features while creating me, of course, I knew I was no bye-product. I am God’s masterpiece and my flaws are normal. Scars beyond my control happened to my skin but that does not make me any ugly. There was something about experiencing God as an intimate lover that changed the way I saw myself, I certainly discovered how loved I am by God. Knowing God as a friend got interesting because there would be days when the Holy Spirit would compliment how I looked and from that point I knew that God’s love for me was huge. I promise you, an intimate relationship with Abba would change a lot of things for you.
3. I stopped comparing my face to other people’s faces and I saw all my flaws as pieces of art. Having this mentality helped me embrace all the decorations on my face as I popularly like to call them. I started seeing how beautiful I was even with freckles. It was a mindset shift I decided to have and you could call me delusional however this girl needed her confidence to grow. A mindset shift would change a lot of things.
4. Daily affirmations became a thing for me that, I would tell myself as often as possible ‘Gladys you are beautiful’ and in short I started singing it in my head like a song. Boy oh boy, this girl would affirm the most positive words to herself and the result made me start seeing my value and my self-worth. The power of my words started manifesting in my life. There is power in your words.
5. I have the most amazing set of friends who would always speak positive words to me constantly. I have this particular friend who always complimented my freckles and she made me love my freckles to the point where I confidently started embracing them. And I ran away from people who were only good at pointing out my flaws because no one was permitted to destroy the self-confidence which I was building. Good friends are essential in our lives.
6. Investing in myself is something I do not regret doing. I spent good money on skincare, makeup, clothes, jewelry, books, and food. The constant art of practicing self-love on myself taught me how to love myself better. In short, I started practicing all my love languages on myself and this boosted my self-love and confidence. Self investment is a form of self love.

Now do not get it twisted, sometimes I still have days when I get all up in my feelings and become insecure but those insecure moments do not last for so long plus I prayerfully talk about my insecurities to God which even makes each day better.

I want you to know that not everyone on earth can have a flawless skin and beauty is not limited to only when your skin is glowing. Physical features should not be any of your worries because you are beautiful. Never stop embracing yourself and allow yourself grow too because with growth everything tends to get better.

Disclaimer ! do not in the bid to look better alter your skin color or harm yourself medically because last last we all are still dust.

Self-love involves some level of intentionality on your own side. Hey dear reader if you are going through a phase of insecurity at the moment, I want you to remember this is a journey that you would keep embarking on continuously and rather than conceal what you are insecure about, embrace yourself more.

Enjoy my throwbacks😂😂😂 and I was so insecure at every point in this pictures.