How can I heal from Daddy issues?

In the last post, I shared the story of a lady named Dove, who dealt with daddy issues and in the bid of growing from it, she became promiscuous.

Whether society likes it or not, the role of a father in a child’s life asides him being a provider is important. A father is not just a provider, he is an adviser, he should be the first person to befriend his children, a father ought to have an emotional connection with his children and play with his kids more than anyone. That masculine love from a father is under-rated, society has a way of belittling fathers to only be mere providers financially. Let us take a look at our heavenly father, he had a relationship with Adam and Eve before they fell and he always came to worship with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, before the fall of man God befriended Adam and Eve, Let us look at Noah, Noah had a solidified relationship with God to the extent he walked with God and never returned home again. Jesus fed the 5,000 men and women, and ultimately he died for the sin of the world, as a father Jesus now calls us his friends.

Our earthly fathers are supposed to mirror our relationship with our heavenly Father, but something went wrong, some fathers started acting on their own accord and some went as far as becoming their children’s abusers, now with this perception of who an earthly father is, for some, building a solid relationship with God becomes more difficult.

Most times, it is easier to see God the way you see your earthly father, and your knowledge of who God becomes myopic,. Dealing with daddy issues can hurt because it ends up affecting your relationship with God.

Now to the big question, how can you heal from daddy issue?

Psalm 68:5 from the Douay-Rheims Bible says “who is the father of orphans, and the judge of widows. God in his holy place.” God is the father to the fatherless.

This verse is majorly used for orphans or widows but as I began writing, it dawned that it is one thing to know who your father is, and it is another thing to experience who a father is. If you’ve never experienced the love of a father, this verse applies to you. The best way to heal from daddy issues is to see God as your father.

Experience God as your father: Do not limit God, everything you have envisaged with your earthly father do it with God, prayerfully ask God to be your father. See God as your father, talk to him the way you’ve always wished you could talk with your earthly father, allow the love of the father to fill you up. Draw closer to God, spend time with him in prayers and in the study of the word and begin to experience who God is as a father. Sometimes you would expressly feel loved by God and even feel his warm embrace, I tell you this is the time to build a better relationship with God. Do not limit God as an invisible being, experiencing the love of a father is better than only seeing the face of your father and not enjoying the relationship.

Forgive your father: Oops I am sure you did not see this coming at all. You need to forgive your earthly father, forgiveness is a command from God, you might be going through hurt because you are yet to forgive your father. Prayerfully ask God to teach you how to forgive him, forgiveness is the next step to healing. God asks us to forgive 70 x 7 times daily because he knows you are capable of forgiving. Pray for your father and tell God to teach you how to love him.

Build Yourself and GROW: This point is important because abuse unknowingly teaches you some toxic self-coping mechanisms such as how to block people out, how to conceal pain, ways to hate without showing it, and how you can live in self-denial. Now is the time to read more books, watch more self-development videos, consciously make good efforts to heal, play more, talk to people more, and seek help from an adult like a therapist who could also be of help. Abuse has a way of changing your attitude even without you knowing, now is the time to take self-development seriously. Actively take out your time to hate less, love more, trust better, and lean on God the most. Whatever effort you can put into this, I’ll admonish you do it.

SEE YOURSELF AS BRAND NEW: Now is the time to decide to be better for your own generation. You are going through this season because God knows your future. See yourself as a new ancestor, a new linage, and a new bloodline for your family, now is the time to set new standards and realign what you want your generation to be like. Know God, experience God, and also make godly and wise decisions, also decide you’ll be married to God’s best and nothing less, and make up your mind to be the best Godly parent to your children. Your mind carries power and so do your words, speak words of life to your generation and constantly remind yourself that bad parenting ends with you because your children and your fore-children would experience good and godly parenting. Prayerfully declare godliness into your bloodline and begin to see your mindset manifesting.

Remember God made no mistake and he gave you to your parents on purpose. Yes, this is not how you want them to be, I want you to also realize God put you in that family for a reason. 

Forgive and live because you are now in Christ