Would you marry a man like your father? Or would you marry a woman like your mother?
This question is a huge trigger for some people who have been hurt by their parents. Dealing with hurt from your parents can be one of the worst feelings on earth because these people might have little to no clue about the damage they have been causing in your life. As primary providers, they might not know the dimension to which they have hurt you. This can be frustrating for anyone in such a situation.
How can I handle hurts from my parents as a believer?
1. Forgive before they ever ask for forgiveness: This is hard, I know. Love, however, is one of the greatest commands that has been given to a believer. As a child of God, Jesus says we forgive 70 x 7 times in a day not because anyone would hurt us this much per day, but because we can forgive unlimitedly. For God to give this instruction, he has equipped you to keep the command.
2. Take conscious steps to heal: You must not become a product of your parent’s mistakes, take out time and rediscover yourself, go out and build a community of friends, get therapy or counselling whenever you need to, and do more godly things that can truly make you happy. Take conscious steps to heal by reading on hurt and by allowing the Holy Spirit to transform your heart.
3. Make plans to move out: You do not have to be in a bad situation forever because that is not the will of the father. As you grow older and if the abuse gets worse, save and plan an exit way for yourself. If it is through Japa plans or by getting a source of income, actively plan to move out of that environment because it is essential you heal from the environment that hurt you. Before Jesus could heal a certain blind man, he had to take him out of Bethsaida.
4. Treat people better: Become the person you hoped your parents were. Be nice to people, treat people with love, let your words always be seasoned with salt, live your life the way Jesus lived on earth and you would find joy seeing yourself break free from the cycles you experienced for years. The aim of this is to become the change you hoped for. Be that person who is deliberately good to people, this is a form of healing as well.
5. Do not underestimate the power of prayer: Never stop praying for these people, pray their hearts are transformed and renewed in Christ, pray they get saved because many of them act wrongly because they are yet to come to the knowledge of Christ. Our prayers are powerful weapons and they should be utilised effectively. After praying for them, when you can, either talk to them or preach to them. Your prayers carry power, use it! If this statement helps, remember this: if they knew better, they would act better. So it’s okay to pray that they come to a better understanding and knowledge of God requires of them as parents.
To anyone going through one form of hurt or the other for a parent, remember God is your true father. Men have let you down but God is not like a man that would ever let you down. Please keep enjoying intimacy with God, do not allow anything hold you down. I want you to remember that you are abundantly loved by God. God cares and loves you more than you can ever imagine.
God would heal your heart soon and remember that he is in the business of mending broken relationships.
God loves you very much.
Thank you for this piece ♥️